What it means to be self-congruent?

Many people are living a lie. It is a bold statement but when you consider what it means to be self-congruent it makes sense.  Some call it two-faced and others call it being hypocritical when people say one thing and behave altogether different. If all boils down to being comfortable in our own skin.

Self-congruent means being able to portray our real self and project it into the world around us. With the world as it is today many people are “competing” and “comparing” and they become incongruent. Being incongruent for some is a self-protection device but it means you operate and do everything in life as a false self rather than being true to who we are.

Being self-congruent you are happy with who you are, but it goes further than just feeling good. Self-congruent people can be themselves not having to adjust themselves or conform to what is perhaps seen as “fitting in”. Self-congruent people fit in regardless and this does not mean that stand out because they are different. Far from it, self-congruent people have a certain confidence and energy about themselves.  

Image result for self congruence

Trying to fit in with behavioural and belief systems of the world is hard work and being incongruent, projecting someone different to who you are or what you are really feeling is not healthy. When it takes effort to try and fit in and you are not able to truly be yourself can lead to issues as we become confused and conflicted in our thinking which can lead to depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety end up changing the person you are, and life can become full of unhappiness leaving a person feeling very unfulfilled.

Of course, there are times where social etiquette and behaviour is expected, but there is a difference between conforming and being incongruent. When conforming, self-congruent people still portray who they are. Self-congruent people are often perceived as free spirits but in reality, they have simply learnt to let go of things and just be themselves. By not pretending to be different to who they are a self-congruent person is often considered more trustworthy, it is something that is immediately felt, deeper than the gut and for this reason, often have a wide circle of friends.

Image result for self congruent
Carl Rogers Theory

However, in society today being self-congruent can be challenging and many experts believe that congruent people are brave as they are not afraid to be who they really are, even if this makes them a little different. In a society where hiding true emotions is often considered the best thing to do to ensure we fit in the truth is there a many more false people on the planet that perhaps ever before. 

In summary, being self-congruent is accepting ourselves and our feelings for what we really are. Covering up sadness with laughter is common and people will laugh rather than cry. There is nothing wrong with feeling like we do and thus why put on a mask and pretend otherwise? We are all here to live our own lives not to live, or try to live, the lives of others.

Be self-congruent, be strong, be you and live a happy life.

Have a great day,

Ilona B. Schukina

29 thoughts on “What it means to be self-congruent?

  1. I like what you guys are up too. Such clever
    work and coverage! Keep up the awesome works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to
    my blogroll.

  2. Have you ever considered about including a little
    bit more than just your articles? I mean,
    what you say is valuable and all. But just imagine if
    you added some great photos or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”!
    Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this website could definitely be one of the best in its niche.
    Good blog!

  3. We absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be just
    what I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs?
    I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write regarding here.
    Again, awesome website!

  4. Excellent blog here! Also your website loads up very fast!
    What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?

    I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  5. Just wish to say your article is as astounding. The clarity to your post is simply excellent and i could assume you’re knowledgeable on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to take hold of your feed to stay updated with drawing close post. Thank you one million and please continue the enjoyable work.

  6. Wow, superb weblog format! How long have you been running a blog for? you make running a blog look easy. The whole glance of your website is magnificent, let alone the content material!

  7. I really enjoyed reading your post, especially because it addressed my issue. It helped me a lot and I hope it can help others too.

  8. I agree with your point of view, your article has given me a lot of help and benefited me a lot. Thanks. Hope you continue to write such excellent articles.

  9. fantastic post, very informative. I wonder why the other experts of this sector don’t notice this. You should continue your writing. I am sure, you have a great readers’ base already!

  10. Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Very useful info particularly the final section 🙂 I handle such info a lot. I used to be looking for this particular information for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  11. I am not sure where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for excellent info I was looking for this info for my mission.

  12. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. An excellent read. I’ll certainly be back.

  13. Hiya, I am really glad I have found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossips and net and this is really frustrating. A good website with exciting content, that is what I need. Thanks for keeping this website, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.

  14. Great post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Very helpful info specially the last part 🙂 I care for such info much. I was seeking this particular info for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

  15. Reading your article has greatly helped me, and I agree with you. But I still have some questions. Can you help me? I will pay attention to your answer. thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *